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When The Answer is Obvious, But Not Obvious To You

June 25, 2013

Posted in: Blog, Performance, Personal

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My brother-in-law shared this YouTube by Jason Headley with me the other day. It cracks me up every time and I’ve shared it with others as well. It has that kind of sticky quality where you share because you just “get it”, right?

How many of us when we watch this think to ourselves – “yep”.

On the surface, it seems that this parody is sexist, throwing someone who needs another who can empathize with her struggle – even though it’s obvious to others what the “real” problem is.

But there’s an even finer point that needs to be made: what we can so obviously see in others, we don’t see in ourselves. Sure, it’s obvious that someone’s sitting on the couch with a 16 penny lodged in her skull – and yet she refuses to see it herself. But, the truth is, I’ve got my own spike in my own head and yet I’m unwilling to address that fact – I’ll just do my duty to point out everyone else’s issues because it’s a clear as day they need help.

 

Right? How many of us can easily identify the obvious issues facing everyone else and yet somehow we miss our own shortcomings.

Here’s a tip, and it’s not just about relationship at home, it’s about how you engage everyone. You can be dealing with your kids, or your staff, or your co-worker. It could be someone who is new on the job, it could be someone who is in transition, it could be someone who is facing some real pain in his or her life – it doesn’t matter. What that other person needs is for you to meet them where they are, as they are. Let me know that even though your issue isn’t front and center at this moment – you have an issue front and center. You can use that truth to truly set the relationship on a level playing field, where no one comes across condescending. And that’s how you build starting on the level.

That’s how you can nail it – every time.

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