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The 60th Shade of Grey

July 5, 2012

Posted in: Passion, Performance

50 shades of grey plus a few more shades

50 is huge. Why? Because it taps something that we all want, but really don’t know how to express it – what is it?  I believe that the success of the latest best-seller is that the story is striking a more spiritual tone that anyone thinks it is.  This sizzler is more about an absolute communion with another’s soul. It’s about abandonment, utter surrender, but then at the same time, that ultimate fulfillment.  The submissive and the dominant in a dance of give and take.  But what is it that has touched such a nerve in the non-porn, everyday kind of person?

It’s that thing. That desire to give completely and yet, in the same breath, be filled completely. That’s really pretty cool, and a pretty desirous place to be, too.  Who wouldn’t want that?  I can’t blame any woman for wanting to fly close to that Christian Grey flame. The threat of being more than just burned – it is a consuming fire, but a desire of wanting to, but safely, yet passionately – all wrapped up in a custom-tailored, Eros-filled frenzy.

I get it.

This is not a spoiler or a tsk, tsk to the theme of 50 Shades.  This is to be a road map to that 60th shade of Grey, and it has more to do with dirty dishes, than dirty deeds.

What would make Christian Grey even sexier?  What could he possibly present that hasn’t been realized by Ms. Steele? Just what is it that could make Anna bite her lip and for Christian to once again press his mouth into a hard line – but this time, on a Tuesday? What works for the everyday Annas on Tuesday when there’s a billion things to get done, a calendar packed with noise, meetings, kid pick-up, dance practice, laundry, and what to make for dinner?

I think that almost any “Anna” would truly want a “Christian” on a weekend, but I also have to think that they need another shade of Grey during the week.  The weekend grey that we all long for is a shade that will never keep its shade or its intensity.  That shade fades, and can fade fast.  But the truth is, it was never intended to stay that intense, it softens, its edge dulls just a bit when its been with you for five, ten, 30 years, or more. That 60th shade of Grey realizes what an Anna like you is up against everyday. Instead of being a dom, he abandons himself to her.  He cleans the hair out of the sink in the bathroom, lowers the toilet seat – all the time.  He picks up the dishes after a meal, puts them in the dishwasher, unloads the dishwasher when they’re clean.  A deeper shade of Grey is when he actually sees her, notices her for who she is – not as an object, not as a “wife” or a partner, or a lover – but as a human being. He points out the fact that without her, there would never most of the things he takes for granted.  A domestic organization that runs smoothly, without much of a complaint – except if the weekend Grey stays only the weekend Grey. A Tuesday Grey realizes that Anna is still beautiful and tells her that, even when she’s without make-up, maybe with a couple extra pounds, in yoga pants running to Target.  Because a Tuesday Christian realizes that even though in his mind he’s a captain of some industry, in his dreams, he’s hoping to someday reach his goal – he’s not really there, yet either.  He’s got some junk in his trunk, his hair’s not so hot either, if even there, still. But he’s trying, just like she is.  And they’re both in it – together. On a Tuesday.

Want to be that better shade of grey to your other half?  See the multi-shades of everyday life, and step in. Shoulder into the everyday and recognize that the other side of the relationship will find your flame of surrender worth flying into.

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